Blah

September 23, 2007 (237 days ago) at 7:05 pm
Posted in Daily Grind, Family, Opinions, Rants

Today has just been one of those days for me. One word can pretty much sum up todays mood entirely: blah. I’ve been unusually moody and irritable, toward Josh and Dylan both. It’s so unlike me, but then again these moods just strike me from time to time, and it really screws with my entire day.

I find it strange because I’ve been working a lot lately, so it only makes sense to be enjoying the day off with my family. Why couldn’t my pissy-ness just wait to annoy me (and everyone else) for another day? :( *sigh* Oh well, I guess everyone deals with these feelings at some point or another, I just really hate it and have trouble dealing with it at times.

Yesterday was my granny’s 83rd birthday. I love her so much, and I can only hope to be as sweet, charming, and mobile as she is if and when I reach that age. She’s the best. I took her to church this morning, as I usually do on Sundays, and her constant sincere gratitude toward me sometimes just takes me by surprise. Every week she always says the same thing: “I really appreciate you taking the time to take me to church every week. I really enjoy going, and if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be able to go.” She even insists on giving me $5 every week, even though the trip to and from her church is a little more than a mile. I just admire her because she’s so grateful for everything she has in life. She’s such a caring and considerate person…despite her countless physical ailments and (as much as I hate to admit it) the developing mental ones. She has plenty to moan and complain about every day, but she doesn’t. She’s still surprisingly independent, stubbornly choosing to always try her hardest to do everything on her own, like she has her entire life. She rarely accepts help when it’s offered (walking up a small flight of stairs, help getting in and out of a vehicle, etc) and she still manages to clean her house, cook, read, and in the Fall she even gets out in her yard and rakes the friggin’ leaves. She’s one of the most amazing women I’ve ever known, and I hold so much love for her. :heart:

However, as wonderful a person as she is, there are a couple of people that attend her church that can reeeeally ruffle my tail feathers at the drop of a hat on some days. Today was one of those days. I could easily blame my pissy feelings toward them on my current mood (read above), but I’d rather just bitch and moan and blame everything on them. Sound good? I thought so too.

Their names (for the sake of privacy and ironic humor) are B and S. Yes, both their first names really begin with those letters. Anyway, they are a happily married, law abiding young couple (when I say young, I mean 30-ish) that attend church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night, and are seemingly perfect. Or at least they like to think so, what little that I do know about them. She (S) has gotten attached to my grandmother like a moth to a floodlight, and quite frankly, it annoys the shit out of me. Why, you ask? Let me explain. Every Sunday morning when I drop my granny off right in front of the church doors, S almost always comes running over to greet her, take her arm, and lead her away. But not before choking out a half-assed sincere greeting to me through the window of my car. She almost acts like she’s ‘rescuing’ my grandmother from the vehicle of a criminal, and must lead her away to safety. Give me a break. Yes, I dared to wear ratty sweatpants, flip-flops, and a t-shirt to your sacred church parking lot at 9 a.m., and yes my hair was in a messy pony tail. Get over yourself. Don’t for one second think you’re better than me just because you attend church all the damned time and have creepily ‘adopted’ my grandmother, who loves you, because she’s such a caring little old lady. When I’m two or three minutes late getting there to pick her up, don’t barricade her in your car and offer to take her home, like I’m not going to show up. What kind of person do you think I am, thinking I’m going to just abandon my grandmother in a parking lot and forget about her? When she mistakingly tells everyone that she’s now 73 instead of 83, don’t jokingly correct her by saying “How dare you lie about your age like that to everyone in church.” She told me on the ride home that she was embarrassed by it. So, keep your hypocritical fingers pointed at yourself, B and S. I have my own relationship with God and it doesn’t involve trying to live up to the expectations you have of what a good Christian must do, look like, and say. You think that wearing black stiletto pumps and a low cut blouse (in other words, the outfit you had on this morning) gets you brownie points with God? I laugh at the hypocrisy. Stop with your judgmental glances and stuck up attitude, because you may be fooling my grandmother into thinking you’re some kind of angel, but you’re not fooling me. It’s people like you with your two-faced, church-going facade that make me glad I don’t belong to a church - especially that one.

So, as you all can see, how my warm, heartfelt paragraph about my loving granny turned into a paragraph about a hypocritical church and some of it’s members, the general holier-than-thou attitudes I get from them REALLY piss me off and drive me over the edge. Especially when I’m having a day like today.

/rant