On Tuesday I served as a juror along with thirteen other unlucky bastards on a civil case involving a man that was in an automobile accident three years ago. Wait, did I just say three years? Yes, I think I did. We sat there for six hours listening to lawyers from each side ramble on about who deserves what and how much money this guy deserves. It was the most boring experience of my life.

I’m not sure what else I can say publicly about this type of thing, so I’ll shut up. I don’t know what I’m afraid of really, like an army of the greatest F.B.I. agents from across the country are waiting for me to click ‘Publish’ before they launch tear gas and hand grenades through my living room windows… THAT WOULD BE INSANELY AWESOME.

And blah blah blah, binky bunky boo… I think it’s almost time for bed.

I report for jury duty at 9 a.m. Some of you may remember me bitching about it in a post I made a few weeks ago. I can only hope it goes smoothly, and that I don’t get a call back to go again. Yes, I realize I’m supposed to be compliant and willing to serve my civic duty, but instead I choose to be a baby about it and moan and groan just a little. I have the right, dammit!

The good thing about it is that I’m getting out of work, and am being compensated a whole $12.50 for the trouble. Did I mention that I’m driving my mom’s SUV? Yeah…there goes my $12.50 down the drain. And by drain I mean gas tank. Ha! When the economy is in the toilet, you gotta make a funny every now and then to make the future seem a little… less shitty.

Well, that about wraps up my bitching. I want nothing more now than to crawl into bed next to my peacefully sleeping husband and stick my ice cold feet into all of his warm crevices. :)

Goodnight!

Dylan: Mama, you pretty.
Me: *melts* Aw…you think Mama’s pretty?
Dylan: Yep.
{big hugs all around}
Me: That’s so sweet!
Dylan: I want to eat sumpin.
Me: Is that why you told me I’m pretty? Because you want me to fix you something to eat?
Dylan: Yep.
Me: Ha! Well, at least you’re honest.

There’s no doubt that he picked up on these tactics from his father. Though I guess it’s never to early to learn that a few compliments and a little ass kissing is a surefire way to get what you want, right? God bless ‘em. I love them to death. And I fall under the spell of their manipulative powers every time. However, I DO let them do it, so I guess I’m just as manipulative. :D How does that old adage go? A family that plots together…gets what they want in return? Er…something like that.

Three days ago, I was tagged for a lovely meme by Whitney. Due to my excessive laziness this week, I’m just now getting around to it.

How to play: Once you’ve been tagged you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random facts, habits, or goals about yourself — at the end choose 5 people to be tagged. You can’t tag the person/people that tagged you, be sure to leave them a comment, yadda yadda yadda. Let’s get to it!

Prepare for a list of total randomness. Seriously.

• My middle name is Dyan, inspired by the actress Dyan Cannon. My mom really liked how she spelled her name.
• I have a big scar on my knee from when I fell of my bike and skidded down the gravel driveway at age ten.
• I stabbed myself in the thumb with a knife a couple of days ago. It sucked.
• I love sour candy. My favorite being a tie between Sour Patch Kids and sour Starburst.
• Zombies terrify me to the point of vivid, recurring nightmares.
• I’d like to lose about 40 lbs, but am pretty positive it’s not going to happen any time soon.
• Lolcats amuse me to no end.
• I’m currently drinking Pepsi, even though I’m a Coke fan all the way. I’m only drinking it because it’s all that Pizza Hut had, and well, sometimes you just gotta take what you can get.
• Rob & Big is mine and Josh’s favorite show. And it’s on MTV. That’s saying a lot.
• I like cheese.

For the sake of continuing to spread this meme like the plague, I will now tag (er, infect?) five unsuspecting people from my blogroll. Caitlin, Shauna, Katharina, Sarah, and Jenn. Take it away ladies! Or don’t, I don’t care. I’ll still love you anyways.

I’m still no Betty Crocker (even though I did use one of her signature cake mixes), but I chose this recipe because it only requires four ingredients: Devil’s Food cake mix, cream cheese, peanut butter, and an egg. It’s painfully simple, and for those of you that haven’t already noticed, I totally dig simplicity.

I haven’t been up to much else. Life has been fairly calm and blissful lately, and I can only hope it remains being so. Aside from dreading jury duty coming up on May 1st, I’m happy.

BTW, tomorrow’s April 15th! Hope you’ve all done your taxes, bitches! :P

*sigh* What a pain in the ass.

1.) I was called in to work on Wednesday, and unfortunately so was Josh. We share a car, so since I work in the morning, he had to work that afternoon. When I got home, I had enough time to spend about twenty minutes with the two of them, grab a quick (and I mean very quick) bite to eat, take a shower, and then leave again to take care of some things for Dylan’s pre-school registration and get groceries (borrowing my mom’s car, of course).

2.) Worked again Thursday. Blech.

3.) Friday morning was Dylan’s registration, so we loaded up in the car (Josh took the morning off) and headed to school for our 9:30 appointment. After a three hour wait and loads of paperwork later, they determined that he is having problems with his speech, and will need help correcting it. I was already expecting it, so it wasn’t too much of a shock. Other than the speech/language area, he passed the other screenings with flying colors, and I couldn’t have been more proud of him for trying his best. I look forward to him experiencing this whole pre-school bit. After that, I had about two hours of downtime at home before heading out to work again for the evening shift. I got home at 9:00 pm and felt like collapsing on the nearest piece of furniture and sleeping for 2.5 years. But, I couldn’t do that because…

4.) Had to be in at work this morning at 7:00. It was a pretty hard day, and time just didn’t go quick enough to suit me. I finally got out of that hell hole at 2:15 (graciously staying over for 15 minutes to get all of my work done), and set out for home. I took a quick shower, then Josh and I exchanged a few text messages. I was lounging on the bed at the time, and fell asleep waiting for him to respond. I woke up an hour and a half later, groggy and confused, but still resumed texting like it never happened. And here I am.

However, I saved the worst for last…

5.) Tuesday night, Dylan knocked out a tooth. It was horrible. He was playing in the living room, jumping and spinning around as usual. He tripped over himself and took a nose dive (err..mouth dive?) into the end table. I didn’t realize he knocked his tooth out until he sat down on the couch, gave me a strange look, and spit it out into his hand. He was a little trooper though. He only cried for a few minutes (considerably less than I did), and kept telling me that he was okay. I was pretty much hysterical, though I was trying hard not to be as I’m sure he was stressed enough, and just seeing my baby’s bloody mouth and gaping tooth hole was just too much for me at the time. Things are better now.

I kept the tooth, and it looks to have come out at the root, so I’m not very concerned about infection/left over tooth fragments or anything (though I am still keeping an eye on it just in case). He continued to eat his regular solid foods the very next day, and he’s only complained about it hurting a couple of times since. Here’s a tidbit of a conversation we had following the incident…

Dylan: Sorry I broke my toof, Mommy. And sorry I hurt the table.
Me: Mommy doesn’t care about the table, honey. I was just worried about you and making sure you were okay. You shouldn’t be sorry hun, the hell with the table.
Dylan: *points* Don’t say dat, dat’s a bad word.
Me: That it is. I’m sorry too.

The tooth fairy visited a little earlier than I’d hoped, but it’s okay. That pretty much wraps up my hectic week, not to mention this long ass post. Now it’s time for some much needed R&R.

Tomorrow is an unexpected workday for me, meaning that at the last minute someone called and asked me to cover for them. Usually, I wouldn’t mind, as working is something I’m pretty indifferent about. I don’t like it, but I don’t hate it either. I’m only doing it until the launch of my patented money tree that can adapt and grow under all weather conditions, no matter what the time of year…eh, it’s a work in progress.

The reason why I don’t particularly want to work tomorrow is because Wednesday is the day every week when the boys and I go to town and do things. We usually grab lunch, visit the ‘rents, go to the grocery store, and call it a day. But, since pre-school registration is this Friday (holy effing shit, you guys) I had also planned to stop by and get Dylan’s immunization records from the health department. We’re looking at a good several hours, and well, work is going to get in the way of that. It irks me, because I want to go too. :(

Thankfully though, Josh decided to do it all on his own so I don’t have to worry about any of it after I get home. All I gotta do is make him a grocery list, and pray that everything goes smoothly. I have faith in him, but there’s a method to the madness that is my grocery shopping, and he just doesn’t get it. Granted, he has his own way, but a lot times his way results in him getting home with half of what was on the list. Haha.

I must give him credit though, he usually does a good job. But it’s just my nature to want to do everything myself. I probably get that from my mother, because I don’t think she’s ever asked or allowed my dad to go the grocery store alone. You see, he’s incapable of following what’s on a list, and usually doesn’t even know where to start looking. She insists that it’s easier and less of a hassle to do it herself, and evidently I’ve inherited her way of thinking.

What happens when the men in your family go shopping? Be it your husband, boyfriend, dad, brother… do they do a good job in checking off the list, or is almost everything forgotten except for a bag of chicken wings and a 12-pack of soda?

Anyways, I hope everyone else’s Easter Sunday went better than mine. I’ve had some kind of cold/sinus/chest congestion shit for the past two days, and it’s really been getting me down. I didn’t take any pictures, nor did we celebrate with any family members. Not to mention that Aunt Flow decided to pop in for her monthly visit right at the beginning of this sickness, so yeah. It’s been lovely. Leave it to her to pop in unannounced at the most inopportune times…that bitch. I cough and sneeze in her general direction. Without any disinfectant. Yeah, I’m dirty like that.

We still got Dylan an Easter basket though, filled to the brim with enough candy and chocolate to hype up an entire army of toddlers, but we cut off his supply a few hours ago to reduce the amount of hyper bed-time arguments about stuffed animals and sippy cups… which is pretty much a nightly occurrence anyway.

I’m getting a little tired and grumpy, so I’ll check you peeps later…get it?! PEEPS?! HA! I’m hilariously lame.

Never fear, faithful readers, I’ve been here all along. This month’s theme gave me a lot of trouble, and I’m happy to say that this one will be staying for a while. Not because I’m overly fond of it or anything, but because I’m too tired of digging through and re-constructing Wordpress code to make a new one any time soon. :) Though, I do greatly, GREATLY, appreciate all of the awesome comments you guys have left about it. It’s definitely not something I’m used to doing, this one really made me step out of my comfort zone a bit to get it done. For one thing, this is the first theme where I’ve actually drawn the main object in the header. Granted, it’s far from fancy, but it took me drawing, re-drawing, scrapping all that, and drawing again to actually make a little blue alien that I was comfortable with displaying online. Over the course of about a week, this is what finally resulted.

The next step was actually getting it online and functioning, which took about four days off and on. Little things were giving me trouble, and driving me mad. I was of two minds. My perfectionist and overly critical side was saying, “No, don’t even think about putting this online until every little nook and cranny of this design is PERFECTLY ALIGNED AND WORKING PROPERLY. ZOMG!!!11! FIX IT, FIX IT! MIND WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN T MINUS 5…4…3…2…1…MELTDOOOOOWN!!!111oneeleven!“. While, my laid-back and careless side was saying, “Fuck it. Who cares? The internet police aren’t going to throw you in jail just because something isn’t perfect…what’s wrong with you?” And there you have it. Some things look right, and some things just don’t. :) What you see before you is mixture of the two.

It’s dawned on me writing this post how sad it is that I spend that much time laboring over a simple theme for my website. Once I get involved with something though, then that’s it. I have to stick it out until it’s finished and I begin to get nitpicky about every little thing! Then, after having to look at it for so long time and time again, I begin to get sick of it and want to start all over, which is not a good thing if you care about your readers and don’t want to leave them hanging. I’m gonna have to work on that. :) Again, thanks for the awesome comments, as I’ve worked hard on this one and I’m glad to see that a few people actually like it.

So, yeah. Let’s talk about ants. Why ants, of all things? Because I hate them. They’re intrusive and annoying little fuckers that come out during the warmer months and invade our kitchen counter, cabinets, and more recently, our bedroom. I can’t help it that I have slob-like tendencies and that I eat and drink in my bedroom, but that doesn’t give them the right to swarm all over my soda can like I’m God and the only way to survive my apocalyptic return is to dive inside and swim to the bottom for safety. Have you ever opened a kitchen cabinet only to find a swarm of little ants writhing and crawling all over a tiny little cookie crumb that inconveniently fell to it’s imminent demise? It’s not pretty. Granted that a few quick sprays of any household cleaner (preferably with bleach…I’m sure it burns a little…am I morbid?) fixes the problem, it’s still annoying. I’d rather not think that little insects burrow into the food at night while I sleep, kthnx.

To wrap up this post, Wordpress themes and ants have a couple of things in common. They can both be annoying and frustrating, but a little household cleaner can help get the job done…Wait…I don’t have that right, do I? They both like cookie crumbs? No…? Hmm…well we’ll just leave it that they can both be annoying. :)